I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
