Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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