I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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