Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
