We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
