So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I cockslap morals
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
