That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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