The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
