I bet he comes in French.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
