Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
