Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
