she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
