Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
