pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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