dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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