Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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