i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
