HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
