why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
