I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
