I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
i think im in europe. pls send help
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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