that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
