love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
