i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Still dying that you shit outside
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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