Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You're like the curious george of whores
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
