i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
