Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
