Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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