he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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