chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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