I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize