Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
