Non-Jews are for practice
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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