Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
