Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
