3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize