Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
