What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
