I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
