Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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