see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
