shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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