I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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