I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
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Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
