really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
