new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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