friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
