I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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