That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
