So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
