Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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