doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
