shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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