So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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