How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
