I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize