Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
