Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
false alarm. still invincible.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize