We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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