That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
