haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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