I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We had to coat check the pizza.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
