Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
