Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize