You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
